The Source: Protecting Your Sacred Place (revisited)

But let’s sit with that for a minute. Do you really believe that sex is just sex and that you can erase your emotions from the entire equation altogether? I mean think about the times you might’ve been in an upbeat, high-energy mood, and then you arrived at work, school, or whatever the case may be and someone else was in a bad mood. And after being around that person for just a few minutes, you notice your mood changes from high to low. If your energy can become altered due to no physical contact and only being in the presence of someone who is operating at a low vibration-what do you think happens when physical, intimate contact happens? Then ask yourself, “With all the things I may be working through spiritually and emotionally, do I want to take on the energy of this person I am about to sleep with?”

What Story Are You Creating?

Remember, we as women hold a powerful, magnetic source of energy. You may have your own nickname for her, but for this article, I am going to use the textbook term- vagina. And your vagina is a source of healing energy and for those of us who believe and engage in the chakra system, it is part of the sacral chakra, which includes your reproductive organs. So, who are you allowing to “plug” into your sacral/sacred space? Who’s emotional and physical story are you allowing to become part of yours? 

Wellness expert Faith Hunter (2016) maintained, “This area holds the personal stories of emotional and physical trauma².” Even if you haven’t experienced a deep level of trauma, your sacred place is still holding on to some type of information whether good or bad. It’s still telling a story. See this isn’t about a 90-day rule or some hype about remaining celibate until marriage-it’s about protecting your peace and overall sense of self. More importantly, it’s about becoming more mindful and highly selective when choosing your person.

Who Are You Sharing Your Space With?

So, if like myself, you have been doing the intense inner work it takes to survive and navigate your spiritual journey. The last thing you want is for someone who is undeserving of your time or your body to set you back emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. If you are considering taking your relationship with a special someone to the next level sexually, be sure to evaluate how this person makes you feel.  I emphasize special because don’t be fooled by current trends in culture and music that’ll have you thinking you can exchange sexual energy with just anyone- and not pay the consequences. 

So, whether you are crying in a “Phantom or Nissan” (per Future), sis the fact of the matter is- you still crying! So why put a price tag on your peace or self-worth? It doesn’t matter if your tear drops fall onto a Chanel or a Fashion Nova handbag, the damage has already been done. Them traumas have already bonded. To avoid unnecessary trauma and pain, find someone who brings out your best qualities; someone who adds something positive and empowering to your story. To do so, you must be able to define and address exactly what you need when it comes to partnering with someone. 

That means not ignoring red flags or toxic behavioral patterns in the beginning. Identifying red flags can be as simple as asking yourself: When I’m around this person, do I feel a sense of peace, calmness, and security? Or do I constantly feel a sense of uneasiness, uncertainty, and insecurity? Whichever lane you fall in, listen to that. Put you and your vagina first, y’all both deserve it 💜

1. This is a reposted article from Sept. 2020 with minor revisions ↩︎
2. Hunter, F. (2016). faithhunter.com/blog (original article is no longer available). ↩︎