Having spent a total of 12 years in the institution of higher education, or as we critical scholars say, the Ivory Tower, I have indeed learned a lot about myself and society at large. From the age of 18-32, (with only a 2-year break in between), that was my life. Yep, I was what you define as a professional student. As I was preparing to graduate high school, my main interest was journalism, which was also reflected in my longstanding affiliation with our school’s newspaper staff. I loved the idea of being a journalism major because I would then be able to combine my love of writing, reading, and using creativity to bring something to life as a profession.
However, I didn’t have anyone in my immediate inner circle who was doing it. My mama is in the healthcare field and being the daughter of a single mother, the message was “You need a career that’s going to promise you some income.” And not to place blame or anything, but it just reinforces how messages about who we are or what’s possible, become passed down and regenerated from one generation to the next. And can you blame them? It’s not a mystery to me as to why Black families choose professions that will promise upward mobility or at the very least jobs that will place you in proximity to the promise.
We all know of America’s egregious history with race, gender, and class as it relates to the Black experience. That being said, if you are even positioned with the opportunity and financial means to attend college, your decisions and choices around degree options are often rooted in a place of survival. So, you begin to opt for paths that have a history of providing overall stability and security, as opposed to chasing mere passions and dreams. This holds even more weight if you are on track to becoming the first or even second-generation college graduate in your family.
So, having that in mind coupled with the fact that I do want to live a life of comfort, sprinkled with a bit of luxury- I chose healthcare at first. I said okay, “I’ll become a pediatrician. I like kids, I think I’m a caring person, so why not?” And I remember towards the end of my senior year in high school my then teacher and director of the newspaper staff, asked me “So what did you decide to major in?” And I stated, “Well, I was going to do journalism, but I decided I’d do biology, so that way I can get into medical school to become a pediatrician.” And he looked at me with this look of confusion on his face and outwardly said, “Are you sure?- that doesn’t sound like you.” And although I knew he was right, I said “Well you know, I’m not sure how journalism will turn out, and the healthcare field is promising.” He then replied, “You know you could still do journalism and biology, and be a healthcare correspondent.” But I was hell-bent on being in healthcare, and I silenced his advice and went forward with biology.
However, that was short-lived because, after my first year, I knew I wasn’t disciplined or interested enough to stick it out. So, then I switched to sociology, and after graduating with my Bachelor’s I went straight through into my graduate program and got my master’s in counseling and psychology. I struggled before going into my master’s degree about what I should do with my life. I was confused and unsure. I needed to buy myself some time, so I enrolled in my master’s program. Although the master’s program wasn’t my 1st choice, I discovered more about myself, my traumas, and my triggers; but also my strengths and my ability to self-heal. This then led to my becoming a better person and woman due to being trained as a counselor, and eventually, attending counseling for myself.
Hell-bent is a phrase for a reason. When you find yourself going down a path that wasn’t meant for you to begin with, you’ll often find yourself feeling stuck, stagnant, and undervalued. That’s because,
“you can’t expect to bear fruit, in a place that wasn’t designed for you.”
Regardless of your religious affiliations or beliefs, you pay a price for not listening to that inner voice God placed inside of you. So, then what is the promise exactly? I promise to continually silence who I am. Because when you don’t do what is in alignment with who you are, you rob yourself of the opportunity to truly live a life of joy. Although my undergraduate years felt like an extension of high school, with the addition of having more freedom to come and go as I pleased, it was also a critical period of self-discovery. And as expected, I have you would think that it was through those many years of matriculation that I learned what I needed to be successful. one could imagine I should have enough lessons to carry me a lifetime. So, for the sake of time, I will share 3 lessons I learned.
- Let that inner child speak. Find time to reflect and revisit what it is you are passionate about. And I know this is a hard thing to do, but write out your passions and what you are good at, -Money aside. I’m all for being where the money resides, and getting to the bag. However, I’ve also learned money is energy. And where there is flow, that’s where the money will go. So, if you are residing where you were purposed to be, then the money will be there with you too.
- From reflecting, I realized during the first 12 years of my life (K-12) no one had to tell me what it was I liked. I have always loved journaling, writing stories, or engaging in some creative form of expressing myself. I love that it provides me with a sense of freedom and fulfillment that no other profession does. So, as a word of advice-don’t let it take an additional 12 years for you to acknowledge what it is you already knew during the first 12 years of your life. As kids, we already know our real dreams and desires. However, it’s outside influences and opinions that make us second-guess or self-doubt what is possible. So, whatever dream you’ve been holding onto since you were young-lean into that and press that gas, and don’t look back.
- Develop some action steps that you need to have in place to get there. For some of you, it may be going back to college, reaching out to someone who is already doing what you aspire to do, going to a free business seminar to regain, or, researching the free web for resources that can help you get to where you want to be.
Whatever your goal is, do whatever it takes!
