So, last week I posted a video asking the pivotal question- “Are you a Late Bloomer or Blooming Lately?” And I know to some this question may sound quite redundant. However, think about it in terms of other common idioms or metaphors we use in our everyday language to make a message more meaningful. For instance, the old adage, “looking at the glass half empty vs. looking at the glass half-full,” is using word play to help build a mental picture that you can either look at a half-filled glass of water as either almost empty or almost full. And the half-empty versus half-full concept is being used to metaphorically describe our mindset or approach to viewing our life’s circumstances. So, half-empty is viewing our life experiences or challenges from a pessimistic frame of mind, and the half-full concept is looking at those same events from an optimistic mindset. It’s all about perspective.
So, the “Late Bloomer versus Blooming Lately” phrase is exactly just that-all about how you choose to frame your life’s narrative. Using the phrase late bloomer means you’ve adopted a “looking at the glass half-empty” or pessimistic mindset. It gives the notion or idea that you’re late to your own show. Whereas, blooming lately lends itself to the idea that you view your life experiences optimistically or from a “glass half- full” standpoint. It is giving the energy that-regardless of what others or society views as late or behind- I’m blooming in my own time.
I know this is easier said than done. As a 36 years-young woman, who has never been married or had any children-I sometimes feel like I am late in that aspect. And of course, the messages I receive through media, others, or even family- doesn’t help lessen those pressures. Even if it’s not motherhood or marriage hood, I am sure you can relate to this as well. It may be that you chose to delay going to college at the “traditional” age, or buying a home, moving out. Whatever, it may be, we can agree that there are various life milestones that have been socially constructed and assigned an “appropriate” age as to when those milestones should be met. And when those milestones are not met, we feel this deep-seated pressure to rush and meet them by a certain age. We can all agree this is a lot, and that it creates added stress and anxiety in our lives, that we do not need.
When you shift your mindset to “I’m blooming lately, not late”, it can help release stress over things we really have no control over to begin with. We all have different life paths and trajectories, so someone else’s timetable isn’t going to or shouldn’t match yours. Therefore, you can’t be late for something that was curated and designed specifically with you in mind. I know we’ve all might have heard the viral phrase “You the birthday,” that stems from rapper Hunxcho’s song, “Birthday Girl.” Well, think about your life in that aspect. You’re the birthday- you can’t be late for something that is unique to you. If you’re working on being punctual to places and events like me (don’t judge!), then you know when your birthday rolls around, that’s the main day you get a pass, because it’s your day. So, in your life you’re the main event, you’re the main character, so give yourself grace to show up in a way only you can.
Of course, I’m not going to just leave you hanging. Below are a few tips to help you begin adopting a Blooming Lately mindset.
- Inspect what you’ve already done. Many times, we forget to give ourselves our flowers. So, take inventory of where you are now. Ask yourself: What have you already accomplished? What gifts do you have? Who are you as a person, what qualities/attributes make you uniquely you?
- Write out your desires. Make your vision plan and clear. If you practice a faith-based or religious way of living, make your requests known to God and spend time with him. Gain clarity and direction on how to bloom or get to the next level in your life.
- Be your best thing. In the words of Toni Morrison, ‘you are your best thing.” So, using those same sentiments, be your best thing always-even when what you perceive to be the next best thing shows up. Give yourself the compassion you wish to receive. Be the best date you ever had. Be your number one fan.
I hope this helps. Let me know your thoughts on this topic.
💜-Dr. Jas
